Correction for Janna's e-mail writing

Subject: Inquiry for English course.

Hello Mr. Jack,

Question about English course.

My name is Joana and I'm from Finland. I guess, you have not had students from Finland before. I have a few questions to ask regarding to the English course.

1. Do u offer English course for foreign student?
2. How many lesson per week?
3. Is there any extra activities after school?
4. How about trip?

Truthfully, I have a problem with English and really need your help in learning it. For your information, the problem started when I was in primary school. My parent always arguing and got divorce when I was a little baby. They decided that I should be adopted as they could not decide who should have custody of me. If I had been in their situation, probably I wouldn't have known either. The consequences of this problem has effected my study, especially English. So, I do appreciate if u can reply this email with the information that I looking for. 

Thank you.

Problem identified

1. Joana sending the message with greeting word in the subject line. That could come across as arrogant, or at the very least, thoughtless. 
2. Massage send are not clear, main purpose at the end of paragraph. Didn't help the reader to prioritize.
3. No proofreading. 
4. There are some privacy in the email.
5. Email are send with informal way.
6. Did not use standard capitalization and spelling.

Reflection

Based on the e-mail send by Joana to Mr. Jack, we find that she have difficulty in term on differentiate between formal and informal way on sending email. In the first sentence clearly stated that Joana is a foreign student from Finland and both of them never meet before. It is impossible for Joana to use the linguistic shortcuts. The linguistic shortcuts are generally signs of friendly intimacy, like sharing cold pizza with a family friend. If you tried to share that same cold pizza with a first date, or a visiting dignitary, you would give off the impression that you did not really care about the meeting. E-mail is not secure. Just as random pedestrians could easily reach into your mailbox and intercept the envelopes that you send and receive through the post office, a curious hacker, a malicious criminal, or the FBI can easily intercept your e-mail. In some companies, the e-mail administrator has the ability to read any and all e-mail messages (and may fire you if you write anything inappropriate).

Resources

• Alsop, Stewart. "My Rules of Polite Digital Communication." Fortune. 142.2 (10 July 2000): p 76. Online. Academic Search Elite. 9 October 2000.
• Cronin, Jennifer. "Netiquette, schmetiquette." Des Moines Business Record 16.24 (12 June 2000): p 11. Online. MasterFILE Premier. 9 October 2000.
• "Email Etiquette." I Will Follow Services. 1997.  <http://www.iwillfollow.com/emailetiquette.html>. 9 October 2000.
• Nucifora, Alf. "Use etiquette when messaging via email." Memphis Business Journal 21.51 (14 April 2000): p23. Online. MasterFILE Premier. 9 October 2000.  
• Thorton, Sam. "Rules and Regulations: Email Etiquette." 29 April 1998.  <http://www.lse.ac.uk/Depts/ITS/rules/email.htm>. 9 October 2000.